Christmas came early for Brit Paul Roberts. According to the Daily Mail, the bloke from Dorset snapped up the world’s biggest (caught) carp at Le Graviers, near Dijon, France. That’s big as in 94 pounds, so big it has a name on the local waters, “The Scarred Fish.”

To make the story even better, Roberts, a boat builder, witnessed his friend, Richard Middleton, pull in a brown fish, weighing 83 pounds only the night before.

That made the two buddies a double-threat — all in only 48 hours.

“As I was reeling it in, I saw what fish it was and then my legs turned to jelly,” Roberts told the Daily Mail.

But a quick bit of Internet reporting reveals that in June the same fish was caught at the same lake as — a 99-pounder! Maybe we should blame the Lap Band. Or the Daily Mail should get a better scale.

If it weren’t raining as I write, I’d grab my rod.

See you on the river, Jim Burns